How to know if my parents need help at home? 8 Helpful Tips for Holiday Visits with Aging Loved Ones: Part 2

If your aging relative doesn’t have a caregiver or a family member who sees them on a daily basis; here are some questions to ask to see if they might need some extra help.

1. Can they take care of themselves?
   • Are they maintaining their personal appearance with daily hygiene tasks?
   • How does their house look? Do the lights work? Is the heat on? Is the lawn or garden being taken care of?
   • Are bills being paid?
2. Do they have new or worsening memory loss?
   • Do they ask the same thing over and over again?
   • Do they get lost in familiar places?
   • Do they have problems following instructions?
   • Do they become confused about time, people or places?
3. Are they safe in their own home?
   • Have they fallen recently?
   • Are they able to climb stairs or navigate around the house on their own?
   • Are they able to take their medication as prescribed on their own?
4. Are they safe on the road?
   • Can they see well at night?
   • Have they had an accident or recieved a moving violation?
5. Have they had a weight fluctuation without trying?
   • Weight loss can be caused my many factors:
     • Do they have trouble cooking; reading labels, following instructions, forgetting and burning food, or lost the energy to cook?
     • Do they have financial issues that may limit their grocery purchases?
     • They may have lost taste or smell.
     • Weight loss can also be an indicator of some serious illnesses such as: malnutrition, dementia, depression or cancer.
6. Are they still social?
   • Do they have contact with friends?
   • Do they participate in hobbies or activities?
   • Are they involved in communities or organizations?
7. Are they in good spirits?
   • How are the feeling?
   • Do they seem depressed or have a drastic change in mood?
8. Are they able to get around?
   • Do they seem reluctant to walk a usual distance?
   • Have they had any recent falls?
   • Would a walker or cane be helpful?

How To Take Action

1. Communicate
   • Share your concerns with your loved one. You might want to include some other family members or close friends in on the conversation. Communicating your concerns will hopefully motivate them to make some changes or see a doctor.
2. Encourage Medical Checkups
   • Regular medical checkups can find issues such as; weight loss, mood changes, or memory loss. You can offer to schedule the appointment and transport them to it. Also, be involved in follow up visits.
3. Assess Safety Concerns
   • Assess your aging relative’s living environment. They may need fall prevention, such as handrails installed around the house. If they have issues with driving, it’s a good idea to find alternative transportation options for them. Such as: taking the bus, using a transportation service, finding a caregiver that can transport them, or hiring a driver.
4. Consider Home Care Services
   • This will depend on your aging relative’s needs. They may need help with home maintenance like home cleaning or lawn mowing. Or they may need help with daily activities or medical aid. You may need to also evaluate if remaining at home is too challenging for your elderly loved one, you may need to suggest a move to an assisted living facility.
5.  Communicate with their Doctor
   • You will need permission from your relative, in the form of a waiver or signed form, to be able to talk to their doctor. If you have that permission you may need to discuss your concerns with their doctor. Your observations and concerns can help the doctor know what to look for at the next visit.
6. Seek Outside Help
   • You can find local agencies and resources with the Eldercare Locator, a public service of the Administration on Aging eldercare.acl.gov  These services can connect your loved one with social services or home care workers. A caregiver registry such as Superior Senior Care can help you find an in-home caregiver by working with Medicaid and Long Term Care Insurance providers they can help your loved one get the custom care they need.

This can be a difficult conversation to have with your loved one, they may not understand or agree with you. It’s important to communicate with them that you love and care for them, and that you are hoping to find solutions to promote their overall health and well-being for years to come.

Check out Part 1 for how to give your entire family a heads up before the holidays about the condition your elderly loved one is in so you can minimize unwanted behavior, criticisms, or comments.

Helpful Tips for Holiday Visits with Aging Loved Ones: Part 1