It doesn’t matter if you’re taking care of a parent, partner or friend. As an in-home caregiver, your work impacts your personal health <em>and</em> the relationship you have with the individual you’re caring for.
While nothing makes elderly care easy, there are ways to make it easier. Lifesaving products, like in-home personal emergency response systems, help you worry less. Part-time elderly care assistance can also ease the heavy burden placed on your shoulders.
But what about the relationship aspect? Keep reading for five ways to improve the bond between you and your loved one.
Bring more positives into your shared life
There are low points in every relationship! As social creatures, we have two choices: We can dwell on the negative and try in vain to change things that can’t be changed. Or, we can increase the positive. For in-home caregivers, the second choice is always the best. It’ll brighten your home life and strengthen the relationship you have with your patient.
To get started, answer these questions:
- What do you love about the senior you’re caring for?
- What do you enjoy doing with them or for them?
- What do you wish you could do more of?
Be sure to ask your patient these three questions, too. Once you have the answers in hand, figure out a way to create more bright spots in your days and weeks.
Reboot your conversations
It doesn’t matter if we’re 12 or 82. Sometimes, idle chatter with the folks we love most devolves into yes-or-no answers rather than true, intimate conversation. We’ve all been on both sides of that equation. We know exactly how frustrating it is.
Rather than wonder why you’re still bothering with the same-old questions when you’re not getting anything in return, try changing up the way you instigate conversations. If your patter focuses mostly on how your patient’s day has gone or how they’re feeling, ask questions that have nothing to do with health and wellness. If you’re tired of friends-and-family gossip, bring up something you heard on the radio or saw on the internet. Ask your patient for advice on a problem you’re facing. Inquire about current events, whether they remember the release of a certain golden oldie or where they were when something incredible happened.
Empower your patient to make decisions (and free up your brain for other things)
As an in-home caregiver, it can feel like you need to micromanage each decision. The thing is, making choices chips away at your energy levels. When your tank is empty before lunchtime, you spend the rest of the day dragging your heels, resentful that every little thing is up to you. Likewise, a lack of autonomy can make patients feel useless—and that couldn’t be further from the truth! You want to keep your loved one safe and well, but that doesn’t mean you need to be steering the ship 100 percent of the time.
Instead, try to move some decisions off your to-do list. Put certain choices, like a meal or an afternoon activity, in their hands. Then, let it go. Relax in knowing that you’re here with a loved one, not an invalid. The more you can be in peer-mode rather than caregiver-mode, the more equal and comfortable your senior is likely to feel as well.
Learn how to do something together
CrossFit might be out, but what about crossword puzzles, craft projects or cooking experiments? There are scores of activities out there, from senior-friendly video games to patchwork quilting to training for a charity walk.
Associates at niche retailers (think stores that specialize in outdoor equipment, books, craft supplies, cooking or the like) can point you toward accessible options. If you have another friend or family member who is familiar with a certain activity, consider roping that individual into your plans, too. Turn this activity into a habit. It’ll give you and your patient something to look forward to, week after week.
Strengthen your patient’s relationships with others
If you’re the only link your senior has to the outside world, the weight of their social needs falls entirely on you. That’s never healthy.
Invite friends and family to visit. Or, hire another in-home caregiver to relieve you and stimulate your loved one. Before they arrive, offer up advice that will foster a connection. Current interests, conversation topics and what to expect from their visit are all handy information for visitors to have before they knock on your door. When company has arrived, don’t feel like you need to facilitate the relationship. Let them build it on their own. Check in and stimulate conversation if it dies out. Otherwise, let it blossom naturally (and give yourself a break).
Rebuilding your relationship with your patient is a step-by-step, day-by-day process. Together, you can conquer these hurdles life throws your way.]]>