Dementia is one of the most devastating illnesses a family can face. It is the one possibility of aging that every senior fears. Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia are being researched with the hope of a cure. Dementia is a progressive condition that affects the senior but also has a profound impact on the family and friends of the victim.
There are seven stages of dementia. Each person is different in how dementia affects them. The different symptoms of each stage can overlap. While your senior is in stage two for some areas of functioning, they may be in stage five for others.
Watching a person you love succumb to the relentless progression of dementia is heartbreaking. a Family members often are the primary caregivers. Today, families are often living long distances apart and direct caregiving may fall on the spouse or a limited number of friends and family. It is important that the primary family caregiver has time off each week to care for themselves, to keep in touch with friends, and to participate in activities that are enjoyable for them. The answer is often professional home care providers.
Here are some indicators that it may be time to consider this option:
1. Increased needs. As dementia progresses, your loved one will need more assistance. Try to maintain a routine that both the senior loved one can depend on and the caregivers can follow. If the family caregiver also holds a full-time job or is still raising a family, it will become increasingly difficult to juggle both. If there is no other family to share the caregiving, it may be time to consider professional home care assistance.
2. Home safety. This is not always easy to detect. Mom may use her walker when you are there but is she “not going to bother” when alone. Signs like leaving a stove burner or oven on can be warnings that your senior needs more help.
3. Wandering. Wandering is one of the most difficult symptoms of dementia. There is no way to anticipate when or why your loved ones will decide to leave their homes and walk off. If your loved ones have been found outside or locked themselves out of their house, they may be wandering.
4. Sundowning. Sundowning is when there is a change of behavior in the late afternoon. The person becomes more irritable or sad. Behaviors can be difficult to manage. It may be a complete personality change.
5. Seclusion, loss of interest. If your loved one stops participating in activities that were important to them before or which gave them enjoyment, they may be depressed or they may be unable to perform that activity any longer. Companionship could help to combat both.
6. Poor personal hygiene. When you visit Mom or Dad, do you notice changes in their level of hygiene? Signs like stained and rumpled clothing could signal difficulty doing laundry or could mean a lack of concern or awareness due to dementia. Is Dad unshaven? Is his hair uncombed? Are they still in pajamas? Does it appear that they are not bathing or showering regularly?
7. Forgetfulness. With dementia, forgetfulness will increase. Forgetting what day of the week it is won’t put your senior at risk. However, your loved one may forget to take their medications. They may forget to eat meals. If the meal you brought them to heat up for dinner is still in the refrigerator untouched, what did they eat––or did they eat at all?
8. Growing healthcare needs. Your senior may face significant health needs due to aging, but their ability to deal with those health issues might be severely impaired due to dementia. There may be dietary restrictions due to diabetes or heart disease. They may need to wear compression stockings or keep their legs elevated when sitting. They may need medications throughout the day. They may need wound care. Some dementia seniors have issues with incontinence.
9. Aggression. Sometimes the confusion of dementia is compounded by feelings of paranoia. This can result in aggressive behaviors such as yelling or striking out at the caregiver or accusations of theft and calls to the police. Speak to their doctor first, as medication can help with the underlying anxiety. Professional caregivers are trained in dealing with these behaviors and they don’t suffer the emotional pain that you feel.
10. Caregiver burnout. This is real. No matter how much you love your senior, and how much you want to take care of them, there may come a point when continuing to be the primary caregiver is putting your own physical, mental, and/or emotional health at risk. Don’t feel guilty about needing help.
You will be a better caregiver if you take care of yourself first. Ask for help when you need it. You need regularly scheduled time off to recharge your batteries. Spend time with your friends. Do things that give you joy! Even an hour off to walk in a garden or play a game of chess with a friend will help. Nurture yourself as well as your loved one.
Knowing the signs of dementia can ensure your loved one is getting the level of care they need to keep them safe and happy in their elderly years.